Category / School

by vaageesh tnc

An untrue hearing at Supreme Court of India- A work of Fiction

Hello, dear readers, it’s me, your favourite blogger back with another amazing script!! You see one day, yours truly and group of select friends( excluding one or two annoying ones) were fuming at the current status quo and were busy trying to figure out a way to channel our anger into a constructive activity( as advised by all yoga instructors). This drama is the outcome of that anger.

So sit back & enjoy, one of the Greatest satirical hits ever written,

Vodka, a Rap Song & Arnab

SCENE-1

(CJI frozen with paper & coffee mug, Arnab sits on a chair with phone, KK stands next to a chair looking bored. CJI unfreezes)
CJI: (Reads paper. Sips coffee. SHOCK! Spits coffee out of his mouth, Freezes)
ARNAB: (Unfreezes. Scrolls through phone. SHOCK!) Sita wants to know, Preetha wants to know. Whyyyy?!?!
KK: (Unfreezes) Arrey yaar! Nothing nice on TV these days( scrolls through some channels, gets terrified on seeing Baba Ramdev). Ah! Baba Ramdev. Ooh Republic (SHOCK!) (Phone rings) Yeah, I saw. Now? Ok bye. (Runs out. Slips, falls down, comes back for her coat)

SCENE-2

(KK sitting. Yawning. Noor bursts in)
NOOR: Nooo!! Why me! Why me?!!                                                                                                    ( KK evil chuckle)

SCENE-3

(Mallaya getting down from a plane. Arnab ready to attack.)                                   MALLAYA: (Gets down) Hi, I’m back!
ARNAB: (Attacks Mallaya) Sir. Sir. The nation wants to know how-
MALLAYA: (Shows palm. Wears sunglasses, show the go sign & walks out)
ARNAB: That was India’s most wanted ,Vijay Mallaya, God of debt, Celebrator of birthdays, Taker of loans who was arrested in a CBI raid. He will now be tried in what many are calling the trial of the century which will be presided over by the Chief Justice of India-Abhay Jain. Representing the prosecution is the Attorney General Kalarkayi “KK” Singh. On the defence we have India’s most infamous criminal justice lawyer Noor Ibsrahim. India wants to know what the fate will be of this man. #Mallaya is back.

SCENE-4

(Court Scene-KK, Noor and Mallaya sitting. Arnab moves towards KK)
ARNAB: Madam! Madam! Are you feeling overconfident because of the fact that entire nation stands with you? The nation wants to know.
KK: No comment!
ARNAB: Madam! Madam! You must tell us. I am Arnab, not Rahul Gandhi! Don’t leave me unanswered because the nation wants to know… (KK points a threating finger at Arnab. Arnab retreats in fear) The Attorney General just shooed me away like a dog on the street. India wants to know when she will start anger management class! (turns to Noor)Ms. Noor, this is the hardest case of your career. Are you afraid of the fact that you’ll be mobbed if you walk out on the & streets?
NOOR: I’m sorry but everyone deserves the right to a fair trial. Even if they are the happiest of poodles to the saddest of Mallayas!
ARNAB: So, touching! (wipes tears) So touching. Thank you, madam! (goes and sits in the press area)
ANNOUNCER:ALL RISE FOR THE CHIEF JUSTICE OF INDIA. (All stand. CJI walks in looking into his google pixel 2 XL, trying to download the constitution of India app & distractedly motions for them to sit. Everyone begins chatter while the CJI absentmindedly bangs his mallet)
CJI: Order, Order, (finally looks up, sees that everyone is distracted, gets angry and repeats twice) Order I say, is this a court or a fish market? For 1 minute, I turned my back to check my WhatsApp status and this is what I come back to? Disgraceful. (calms himself) Now, Case no. 126- State vs. Vijay, I mean Mallaya may proceed. The Prosecution may present its case.
KK: Your honour, we the prosecution believe that Mr Mallaya is guilty for he knew that he was in debt and yet he threw a lavish 3-day party for his 60th birthday. We charge him on the grounds of money laundering, ill-treatment of his employees, defiance of International Court Orders and violation of Right against Exploitation. To prove my case, I have a petition signed by over 30,000 Kingfisher employees and another petition signed by 10,00,000 citizens. If you let this man go, then you’ll go against the very bedrock of the institution of democracy, in fact you’ll jeopardize this great organisation’s integrity for not abiding by the principle of ‘for the ppl, by the ppl and of the ppl’. Please don’t become a mixture of foolishness to this OPS of greed. With this I rest my case

CJI: Thank you, prosecution, now the defence may present its case.
NOOR: Your honour. 1. My client is the owner of Kingfisher Pvt Ltd which specializes in making alcohol. Therefore, he very generously samples all the bottles. You can’t blame him for his actions when he wasn’t sober! 2. People very kindly gave him money. He was bankrupt. They were giving a supply for his demand. 3. UK’s high court didn’t convict him. They let him free. 4. Our naïve Indian banks lent him money. They had no safety measures. They didn’t ask him to return it. They didn’t pressurise him. They just printed newspaper articles. This is like asking a mailman to deliver a vada! To conclude my opening statement, my client was inexperienced and had no assistance or guidance. So, he mustn’t be convicted for a mistake he didn’t commit.
CJI: The court now orders the accused, Mr Vijay Mallaya to take the stand to be cross examined.
(Mallaya walks in style. Swears on Gita and winks)
KK: Mr Mallaya, you were in debt yet somehow you managed to throw a 3-day party. We demand to know where you procured the money from.
MALLAYA: (Blinks. Breathes in heavily.) You see my aunt’s brothers’ father’s daughter’s father’s grandson’s fiancée’s lover got into helicopter scam, topper scam, Bihar scam, TV scam, murder scam, Mallaya scam-
NOOR: I object my lord. My client isn’t sober! (Objection denied says CJI)
MALLAYA: Don’t worry Ms Noor. Lawyer scam, Bofors scam, bank scam, sandwich (yawns) That’s how I got money.
KK: Ok, that made as much sense as Mallaya himself! Q2, Mr Mallaya, how did you manage to get money from the banks?
NOOR: Objection my lord, the prosecution is trying to lead the witness into spilling details that aren’t relevant to the case.
CJI: Objection sustained.
KK: The prosecution requires these details to prevent further misuse by Mr Mallaya and others like him. So, what do you say, Mr Mallaya?
MALLAYA: First, I bribed the bankers for the loans, then the executives, a dog, killed 3 men in a boat, pushed humpty dumpty, made him into an omelette and bribed the media.
(All this time, Arnab had been blabbering into his mike, but once the interrogation had started, his voice started to get louder & started to annoy the CJI)
ARNAB: (Unable to contain himself, shouts) Except me India, for I am a pure vegetarian!
CJI: (Very angrily) Mr Arnab, the nation wants to know when you’ll shut up! (Sighs angrily) We now request the defence to interrogate the accused.
NOOR: Mr Mallaya, are you sober?!?
MALLAYA: What is sober?
NOOR: (Sighs) Did you sample the Kingfisher beer again?! (Slaps forehead)
MALLAYA: Yeah, they tasted good!
NOOR: Your honour, once again my client is drunk, look your honour (waves in front of Mallaya). (No response!) So, the words he says cannot be taken as gospel.
MALLAYA: Golf ball aah?
CJI: (Gets Mad) Ms Noor, if you cannot control your client, then why did you bring hem here? You are reducing the sanctity of this institution.
NOOR: I apologise your honour. No more questions. The defence rests.
CJI: The court will present its verdict in 30 min. Until then, we are in recess. Court is adjourned.
(MALLAYA: 30 minutes later. )

Scene- 5

(KK is pacing down the hall, Arnab is blabbering into his mike, Noor is flipping through several books, Mallaya is asleep)
ANNOUNCER:THE COURT IS NOW IN SESSION. (Noor slaps Mallaya. He wakes up)
CJI: Now both sides may present their closing statements.
NOOR: Your honour, the fact that my client was able to bribe the banks says a lot about the system. So instead of catching this small, drunk, insignificant imbecile-
CJI: Watch your language.
NOOR: We request the ones who were bribed to be put on trial and my client declared innocent. He should also be paid compensation by the Govt. for troubling him like this. With this I rest my case.
KK: (starts rapping)After much consultation, we have come to a conclusion. Don’t let this man outside, he has soiled our nation’s pride like a glass of blender’s pride. He isn’t only guilty of exploiting his employees, he has infringed on the right to Constitutional Remedy (Everyone gasps, CJI begins to take down notes very quickly). The heart and soul of our constitution has been broken down by his consternation. Don’t let this man walk out free, he has violated the soul of the country. If you let him out, bankruptcy we will face, with this statement I rest my case.

(KK sits down and CJI clears his throat )
CJI: This has been a very unusual case. We have had a drunk man, a man with a mike who can be heard even when he’s on mute (looks at Arnab) and a rap song (Now at KK). In all my 1 year as CJI, this is the weirdest yet somehow the best case I’ve ever seen. It has been very difficult to come to a decision but somehow, I have. The Supreme Court hereby finds the accused- Mr Mallaya…GUILTY and sentences him to triple life imprisonment on the grounds on money laundering, exploitation and violation of the right to constitutional remedy. It also orders that all his possessions to be sold to the highest bidder in a state held auction. The proceeds will go to reimburse the banks. The court also orders the Central Govt. to completely overhaul the entire banking system with strict safety & mitigation measures in place. The Govt. must also prevent criminals from being able to leave the country like Mr Mallaya did. Court is adjourned. (As the crowd rejoices, Arnab and KK try to make the extremely drunk Mallaya understand that he’s headed to jail and not to Park Hyatt for a six- pack)

Introducing the cast-

Arnab was played by the hilarious P.Vikraman who sent our class into peals of laughter with his amazing acting. The uptight Noor Ibsrahim was played by Diya Nandakumar, an athlete par excellence who turned out be quite the actor in the end. The comical Mallaya was initially played by Abhishek Barathan  who later dropped out at the last minute and sent us scrambling to find a replacement. That replacement came in the form of Sri Vishodhan , who despite being drafted at the last second, actually did an impressive job. The co-author of this play and the actor who played the no-nonsense ‘KK’ Singh was my extremely kooky and rap-song obsessed cousin, Smruthi Pradeep . Then there’s me, your awesome blogger who played, you guessed it, THE CJI OF INDIA with such skill, I was hailed as the next Gary Oldman(just kidding 😉 )

Hope you enjoyed this play and are excited for more. Until next time, fare thee well.

 

Disclaimer: I have full respect to Supreme Court of India and to all offices under our constitution. The above article is a piece of imagination. My intention was to have fun and not to hurt anyone’s reputation or sentiments. Hope everyone can read and laugh at this.

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by vaageesh tnc

Book or E-Book?

Hey guys, it’s me & today’s post is about an issue that’s very close to my heart, The rise of the E-Book. Now obviously this is a debate which has raging on since the dawn of time aka the day Amazon was created. Now some people have a stereotype that this is a battle between the Generation WW2 vs Generation Y. But its actually more of a mixed bag . There are some veterans who have sided with the Kindle faction while some new kids on the block are on the side of paper. Each side have their on signature weapons. The Kindlers say this is eco friendly while the paperbacks say that the charm of a book can never be replicated by a cold hard piece of metal & glass.

Now every person who knows me , knows that I am a reading fanatic! If you give me an interesting book , I will forget the whole world & basically turn into a statue! Not even the news that Trump got punched in the face wouldn’t break my trance & that’s something impressive. Now I am the proud owner of 250+ books & 75+ e-books on my Kindle.

2 years ago, I was hardliner of the Paperback faction, spending half my day holed up in the corner of a library, flipping through hundreds of books in under an hour. I was simply disgusted by the invention of the e-book & even spent 3 months trying to convince my friends that e-books were as sacrilegious as converting from a Man Utd fan into a Man City fan!!

Now you may be wondering ” Then why in god’s name did you buy 75 e-books , are you a traitor to the Old Trafford warriors!!!!?” . First no, I’m not a traitor, in fact, I’m as crazy about Man Utd as I am about MSD. But to answer your question, the tectonic shift in my stance occurred due to my dad, the one person who you least expect a teenager to listen to.

It all started with my dad buying the very first kindle & uploading the entire collection of Uncle Scrooge comics into it. I was & still am a Donald Duck family fan. So my dad pulled quite the a smart move. Despite the fact that I was extremely peeved about this, the lure of duck without pants was too much to resist. I tried extremely hard to not like the Kindle but Jeff Bezos was way ahead of me. Not only did the Kindle have access to the entire collection of mankind’s books but it’s compactness also allowed me to smuggle several books into my school , just by slipping it into my pocket!(Yes, I have BIG pockets).

This was a masterstroke by the Kindle faction & boy did it work. Soon I was buying so many E-Book’s that Amazon’s servers crashed through out the entire Asia-Pacific area & they had to send a sea gull that had eaten Tostitos to get me to stop! But what shaped my now middle ground stance? The credit for that goes to an unnamed string instrument teacher who lived sometime in the 9th century.

This may prompt you to ask me” Do you secretly own a time machine?” The answer is no! I do not. But what I do own is 5 page pamphlet on the life of Buddha. I found this pamphlet crumpled outside my school gate. Intrigued, I dusted it off & began reading it. And the part which talks about how Buddha attained enlightenment really had a profound effect on me. I then realised that both factions had equal pros & cons & the fact that I was swinging like a pendulum between both sides was basically driving me insane! I also stumbled upon the fact many people where in a similar situation as me! So like Siddhartha, we realised that the middle path was the best one !

And from this was born the Kindle-Paperback federation or the Kindback federation as it is now referred to by the other factions. And do you know what’s the greatest thing about this? Each member can interpret the middle path to suit their needs. My personal stance is that buy E-Books for most series & paperbacks for sentimental series like Harry Potter.  Now this may not work for most people but it does for me.

So why am I writing this post? To make you, dear readers realise that there is an alternative to these two factions which are tearing at each other’s throats. There is a group which acts as a meditator between these 2 goliaths. We basically do whatever the UN does but for books, instead of countries.

I hope this post gave you an insight into the intricate world of modern day literature & it’s multiple factions. But sadly it’s time for me to bid you adieu, so until we meet again, in this website or the next GM of the Kindback, Farewell!

 

by vaageesh tnc

How I taught my Grandmother YouTube

Hello world, it’s time for my 1st set of weekly posts! And this one is a kicker! The reason for this title is my own grandmother & my desire to create a more modern-day version of  Sudha Murthy’s award-winning book” How I taught my Grandmother To Read”, a delightful book whose rainbow colours were obscured by the monochromatic fact that we had to mug it up, just to get a measly letter on our report cards (Curse you Education System). Aside from the fact that my post which will tear up this decrepit system is on track to get published very soon, the inspiration for this particular post began about 2 days ago.

My Navaratri holidays had begun & I was in paradise, beating my friends in online FIFA 17 matchups, wanting to watch Kingsmen: The Golden Circle, Praying to God that both Lukaku & Dhoni should get an Oscar when I caught sight of my usually chatty & lively grandmother, looking sullen & crestfallen. So I walked up to her & so began the ensuing dialogue:

Me: Patti (Tamil for grandmother), what’s wrong?

Patti: Nothing Vaageesh, I just feel so bored these days (Ok a bit anti-climatic but hey it’s the truth), there is no excitement in my life anymore.

So I thought to myself, how do I bring excitement into the life of someone who had seen more than seventy years of this world, when it hit me, she hadn’t seen the one thing that had turned Homo Sapien (wise human) into Homo Sapien Sapien (futuristic human), The internet! So I bolted upstairs, grabbed my laptop, a chair & prepared to send my grandmother into the world wide web.

This was easier said than done, it was an exhilarating & curious experience trying to explain to her this world which was like second nature to me but a conundrum to her. I enjoyed explaining simple concepts like Google to her & I saw that this was opening new doors for her.

The next step was, of course, the most popular destination in this Universe, YouTube. I was floored by my grandmother’s excitement about a place where she could binge watch just about anything from the weather to Trump’s toupee (I think this was due to the fact that I had used south Indian soap-operas as an example). She made remarkable progress, subscribing to half of South Indian TV’s YouTube channels, getting brand new material to discuss with her friends & generally getting a brand new lease of excitement. She is quite the multi-tasker, watching Big Boss, chatting with my aunts, skyping her relatives all at the same time.  I am astonished that her love of learning hasn’t diminished after so many years, it truly does inspire you to want to be the same when you reach that golden age.

I am planning to introduce her to WhatsApp very soon, but I am currently busy trying to explain to her why a mouse is called a mouse, so I have to go, till next time my people, till next time.

 

by vaageesh tnc

MUNing

MUN stands for Model United Nation & Muning, is an oratory skill, like debating, but what separates it from other such skills is the fact, that MUN is internationally funded & encouraged by the UN & is considered as an equivalent to joining a 2-year Cambridge English course, minus the sleepless nights, inane grammar & stiff British accents!

You may be wondering why I am babbling about all this, well I have recently just started Muning & it’s a fantastic experience! It’s so invigorating & challenging at the same time, you get to meet so many people & it’s literally a melting pot for ideas!

MUN simulates the operations of a real UN committee. What happens is you are given a country, say Ethiopia & a committee, like CCC (Climate Change Committee) for example & you are given an agenda i.e. what the committee has gathered to discuss. What you do is present your country’s stance on the given agenda. In a MUN, you become the delegate of our nation so your personal opinions or views don’t matter & frankly shouldn’t exist during the MUN, you must full & full follow your country’s perspective & opinions.

The idea is to help you see things from another’s perspective.

Now you must always prepare at least a week before every MUN, researching about your country, its stance on the issue, its allies, enemies, economic status & the agenda in general. Also, there will be delegates representing other countries so research about their countries as well.

Since MUN simulates UN procedure the whole session has formal phrases & codes that must always be followed, like referring to yourself in 3rd person, always using we, not I, with the permission of the Chair etc.

If you want more in depth & detailed info about MUN procedure, visit  bestdelegate.com

If you want to watch a Mock MUN, watch this:

These links will help you get a basic idea about MUN procedure but the spirit of MUN is not that, it’s in the camaraderie between delegates, the tough situations you are given, the amazing Chairs ( Not the furniture, the person who oversees the committee) the crazy antics of fellow delegates, missing school,😉 learning new information, your new perspective on the world, all this & more are what defines the very essence of Muning.

Granted, MUN does at first seem a touch too formal but once you get into it, you will find that that’s a small price to pay for rewards that will last through out your life. How? Well for all our “I just want a good paying job, a house & 2.5 kids” people, having 1-2 yrs. of MUN experience on your resume increases your chance of achieving what some call the American dream by over 40%! And yes, it isn’t restricted to 1st world countries alone.

But for those who joined MUN because they were actually interested, you are going to reach something greater than this my friends, you are not going to become a Corporate Mogul or an orange faced president, instead, you are going to be a part of an amazing Global Community of ideas, knowledge & harmony.

by vaageesh tnc

United Nations Day at my School

Hi guys, today I’m here to talk about something that concerns us all, UN! Now don’t worry this isn’t going to be about Donald Trump or Brexit or demonetisation so you can stop worrying about that. This was something I was chosen to do. And pray tell what was I chosen for? Ok, I’ll tell you, but 1st, deep breath everyone because this might just stun you, “I’VE BEEN CHOSEN TO COMPARE, MANAGE, DIRECT & PRESENT A 2 hour PROGRAM ON UN 2016!!!! Now you’re undoubtedly wondering where, why & when?

Well, it all started about a month ago, at my school. It was lunchtime & I was busy bargaining with one of my friends for a spoonful of his noodles in exchange for my Lays chips when suddenly, a towering 9th standard student barged in & proclaimed that I had been summoned to the Principal’s Office!!!! Now I’m not exactly Mr Rules follower so as you can imagine, my knees were shaking & my heart was in my throat as we entered the Principal’s Office or as we like to call it, “The Point of No Return!!!!”.

Once we had exchanged pleasantries & seated ourselves, I waited to hear my judgement. With tension in the air evident, the principal opened her mouth to utter the immortal words” You have been selected to present a program on UN & its policies within a week’s time.” All the terrifying thoughts that had hijacked my mind vanished as I breathed a sigh of relief & replied “Yes”. And so, began a week of turmoil, late nights & training that all were to attain culmination on a Friday.

But of course, I couldn’t have done this without the support, encouragement & wisdom of our school’s Head of the Social Science Department, Shanthi Chandrasekaran Mam.  She was the guiding light for this program & fun fact she was the very reason why I had been selected for this. So big thanks to her. And so, we toiled & trained in preparation for a gem of a program whose script is right below. Now you’re all probably wondering how the show was received & how we trained the actors. Well fear not, for the details are given below. The actors were selected by Shanthi Chandrasekaran Mam & I, with my 5 yrs of experience in the field of theatre, trained them. At first then results weren’t promising, what with actors forgetting their cues or lines & in some cases, turning into emotionless robots. But as the days wore on, the actors began to exhibite their skills & the future of the show seemed bright.

Now fast forward to D-Day, we were busy rallying our forces & readying the stage for our audience of entire middle school to watch & enjoy. Having been in the audience myself for countless amounts of time, I had designed the program to invoke as much joy & interest as I could from my audience. There were a few minor hiccups in between, like the projector not working & actors missing but they were all sorted out & we were ready for battle. And needless to say, we blew the socks of our audience! This program was touted as the best in the history of our school by our Advisor Chandra Srinivasan mam.

You can read the script for “Child Rights Denial Plays” (PDF) I wrote for the programme and the speech I gave (PDF).

All this & more sent me to cloud nine. I had never imagined that I could pull off something this big. But I’m glad I did, because I met & worked with some amazing people who have left a deep impression in my life.

Well that’s all for today guys, but don’t worry because I’ll be back.  So until then, Take Care, Bye.

by vaageesh tnc

Building a car with balloon

So recently, I went to this summer camp, by ThinkDiff Skool in Chennai. The place is run by my friend’s Mom & it was the 3rd course that I had attended there, the first two being computer science courses that taught me Scratch, the most basic level of android coding & MIT app inventor, the next level.

Coming back to this summer camp, we dabbled into all sorts of Laws in Science. Ok, so studying Laws of science in school (the pit of hell in almost every human being’s life) is drop dead boring, but here we had a damn lot fun. Why? You may ask? Well, number 1, we had the best teachers, who gave us a free rein to chat & to explore the laws, not by reading  from some old, dusty textbook, but by actually going out there & doing it. I know that these, in the pit of hell, are called practicals, but here, we launched rockets to study newton’s 3rd law & got all wet, which in this heat is a god send. Another thing we did was car races. I’ll explain.   ThinkDiff-Wheels-Science-frontFirst, take a thermocol square, & stick double side tape on its underbelly, then take 2 straws & 4 bottle caps & 2 wooden pieces, one thin, one thick. Measure the straws & cut them to fit exactly underneath the thermocol piece, then do the same for the two wooden pieces, but extend the wooden pieces just a little longer than width of the thermocol piece. Then insert, the wooden pieces inside the straws & stick them to the tape. Then make a hole in all the bottle caps, they should be big enough for the sticks to go through them, but small enough that once stick is in , it should be a snug fit.  Your wheels are now ready. Next take a balloon & a straw, some normal tape & some double side tape. Stick the double side tape on top of the thermocol & stick the straw on it, tape the balloon on 1 end of the straw. Leave the other end, slightly extending over the thermocol. Blow into the straw until the balloon fills to the desired size. Close the end of the straw & take it to where you want to race, keep the closed end of the straw in the opposite direction of the way you want it to go, let go of the closed end & the car will shoot forward in the desired direction.

Thank u & hope u enjoyed.

by vaageesh tnc

Fort Penstand for School Project

G’Day I am back to tell more tales.This one is about my school project for which I did a a Fort Pen-stand. It`s easy to make and it`s so good it never will lose it`s shine.You would need a cardboard box that opens on the top, two kitchen paper roll empty tubes, brown water colour, white paper, double-side tape and some glue. Start of by  pasting the white paper on the entire surface of  the large cardboard box and the kitchen roll tubes, then paint the entire area with the brown water colour. Soon after which stick the rolls to the side of the cardboard box using double side tape and draw three windows and extra details using a black colour sketch-pen. You may stick this on top of a large plastic tray for better presentation.

There you go, your own Fort Penstand. Enjoy!

https://aboywithtales.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/fort pen stand school project