An untrue hearing at Supreme Court of India- A work of Fiction

Hello, dear readers, it’s me, your favourite blogger back with another amazing script!! You see one day, yours truly and group of select friends( excluding one or two annoying ones) were fuming at the current status quo and were busy trying to figure out a way to channel our anger into a constructive activity( as advised by all yoga instructors). This drama is the outcome of that anger.

So sit back & enjoy, one of the Greatest satirical hits ever written,

Vodka, a Rap Song & Arnab


(CJI frozen with paper & coffee mug, Arnab sits on a chair with phone, KK stands next to a chair looking bored. CJI unfreezes)
CJI: (Reads paper. Sips coffee. SHOCK! Spits coffee out of his mouth, Freezes)
ARNAB: (Unfreezes. Scrolls through phone. SHOCK!) Sita wants to know, Preetha wants to know. Whyyyy?!?!
KK: (Unfreezes) Arrey yaar! Nothing nice on TV these days( scrolls through some channels, gets terrified on seeing Baba Ramdev). Ah! Baba Ramdev. Ooh Republic (SHOCK!) (Phone rings) Yeah, I saw. Now? Ok bye. (Runs out. Slips, falls down, comes back for her coat)


(KK sitting. Yawning. Noor bursts in)
NOOR: Nooo!! Why me! Why me?!!                                                                                                    ( KK evil chuckle)


(Mallaya getting down from a plane. Arnab ready to attack.)                                   MALLAYA: (Gets down) Hi, I’m back!
ARNAB: (Attacks Mallaya) Sir. Sir. The nation wants to know how-
MALLAYA: (Shows palm. Wears sunglasses, show the go sign & walks out)
ARNAB: That was India’s most wanted ,Vijay Mallaya, God of debt, Celebrator of birthdays, Taker of loans who was arrested in a CBI raid. He will now be tried in what many are calling the trial of the century which will be presided over by the Chief Justice of India-Abhay Jain. Representing the prosecution is the Attorney General Kalarkayi “KK” Singh. On the defence we have India’s most infamous criminal justice lawyer Noor Ibsrahim. India wants to know what the fate will be of this man. #Mallaya is back.


(Court Scene-KK, Noor and Mallaya sitting. Arnab moves towards KK)
ARNAB: Madam! Madam! Are you feeling overconfident because of the fact that entire nation stands with you? The nation wants to know.
KK: No comment!
ARNAB: Madam! Madam! You must tell us. I am Arnab, not Rahul Gandhi! Don’t leave me unanswered because the nation wants to know… (KK points a threating finger at Arnab. Arnab retreats in fear) The Attorney General just shooed me away like a dog on the street. India wants to know when she will start anger management class! (turns to Noor)Ms. Noor, this is the hardest case of your career. Are you afraid of the fact that you’ll be mobbed if you walk out on the & streets?
NOOR: I’m sorry but everyone deserves the right to a fair trial. Even if they are the happiest of poodles to the saddest of Mallayas!
ARNAB: So, touching! (wipes tears) So touching. Thank you, madam! (goes and sits in the press area)
ANNOUNCER:ALL RISE FOR THE CHIEF JUSTICE OF INDIA. (All stand. CJI walks in looking into his google pixel 2 XL, trying to download the constitution of India app & distractedly motions for them to sit. Everyone begins chatter while the CJI absentmindedly bangs his mallet)
CJI: Order, Order, (finally looks up, sees that everyone is distracted, gets angry and repeats twice) Order I say, is this a court or a fish market? For 1 minute, I turned my back to check my WhatsApp status and this is what I come back to? Disgraceful. (calms himself) Now, Case no. 126- State vs. Vijay, I mean Mallaya may proceed. The Prosecution may present its case.
KK: Your honour, we the prosecution believe that Mr Mallaya is guilty for he knew that he was in debt and yet he threw a lavish 3-day party for his 60th birthday. We charge him on the grounds of money laundering, ill-treatment of his employees, defiance of International Court Orders and violation of Right against Exploitation. To prove my case, I have a petition signed by over 30,000 Kingfisher employees and another petition signed by 10,00,000 citizens. If you let this man go, then you’ll go against the very bedrock of the institution of democracy, in fact you’ll jeopardize this great organisation’s integrity for not abiding by the principle of ‘for the ppl, by the ppl and of the ppl’. Please don’t become a mixture of foolishness to this OPS of greed. With this I rest my case

CJI: Thank you, prosecution, now the defence may present its case.
NOOR: Your honour. 1. My client is the owner of Kingfisher Pvt Ltd which specializes in making alcohol. Therefore, he very generously samples all the bottles. You can’t blame him for his actions when he wasn’t sober! 2. People very kindly gave him money. He was bankrupt. They were giving a supply for his demand. 3. UK’s high court didn’t convict him. They let him free. 4. Our naïve Indian banks lent him money. They had no safety measures. They didn’t ask him to return it. They didn’t pressurise him. They just printed newspaper articles. This is like asking a mailman to deliver a vada! To conclude my opening statement, my client was inexperienced and had no assistance or guidance. So, he mustn’t be convicted for a mistake he didn’t commit.
CJI: The court now orders the accused, Mr Vijay Mallaya to take the stand to be cross examined.
(Mallaya walks in style. Swears on Gita and winks)
KK: Mr Mallaya, you were in debt yet somehow you managed to throw a 3-day party. We demand to know where you procured the money from.
MALLAYA: (Blinks. Breathes in heavily.) You see my aunt’s brothers’ father’s daughter’s father’s grandson’s fiancée’s lover got into helicopter scam, topper scam, Bihar scam, TV scam, murder scam, Mallaya scam-
NOOR: I object my lord. My client isn’t sober! (Objection denied says CJI)
MALLAYA: Don’t worry Ms Noor. Lawyer scam, Bofors scam, bank scam, sandwich (yawns) That’s how I got money.
KK: Ok, that made as much sense as Mallaya himself! Q2, Mr Mallaya, how did you manage to get money from the banks?
NOOR: Objection my lord, the prosecution is trying to lead the witness into spilling details that aren’t relevant to the case.
CJI: Objection sustained.
KK: The prosecution requires these details to prevent further misuse by Mr Mallaya and others like him. So, what do you say, Mr Mallaya?
MALLAYA: First, I bribed the bankers for the loans, then the executives, a dog, killed 3 men in a boat, pushed humpty dumpty, made him into an omelette and bribed the media.
(All this time, Arnab had been blabbering into his mike, but once the interrogation had started, his voice started to get louder & started to annoy the CJI)
ARNAB: (Unable to contain himself, shouts) Except me India, for I am a pure vegetarian!
CJI: (Very angrily) Mr Arnab, the nation wants to know when you’ll shut up! (Sighs angrily) We now request the defence to interrogate the accused.
NOOR: Mr Mallaya, are you sober?!?
MALLAYA: What is sober?
NOOR: (Sighs) Did you sample the Kingfisher beer again?! (Slaps forehead)
MALLAYA: Yeah, they tasted good!
NOOR: Your honour, once again my client is drunk, look your honour (waves in front of Mallaya). (No response!) So, the words he says cannot be taken as gospel.
MALLAYA: Golf ball aah?
CJI: (Gets Mad) Ms Noor, if you cannot control your client, then why did you bring hem here? You are reducing the sanctity of this institution.
NOOR: I apologise your honour. No more questions. The defence rests.
CJI: The court will present its verdict in 30 min. Until then, we are in recess. Court is adjourned.
(MALLAYA: 30 minutes later. )

Scene- 5

(KK is pacing down the hall, Arnab is blabbering into his mike, Noor is flipping through several books, Mallaya is asleep)
ANNOUNCER:THE COURT IS NOW IN SESSION. (Noor slaps Mallaya. He wakes up)
CJI: Now both sides may present their closing statements.
NOOR: Your honour, the fact that my client was able to bribe the banks says a lot about the system. So instead of catching this small, drunk, insignificant imbecile-
CJI: Watch your language.
NOOR: We request the ones who were bribed to be put on trial and my client declared innocent. He should also be paid compensation by the Govt. for troubling him like this. With this I rest my case.
KK: (starts rapping)After much consultation, we have come to a conclusion. Don’t let this man outside, he has soiled our nation’s pride like a glass of blender’s pride. He isn’t only guilty of exploiting his employees, he has infringed on the right to Constitutional Remedy (Everyone gasps, CJI begins to take down notes very quickly). The heart and soul of our constitution has been broken down by his consternation. Don’t let this man walk out free, he has violated the soul of the country. If you let him out, bankruptcy we will face, with this statement I rest my case.

(KK sits down and CJI clears his throat )
CJI: This has been a very unusual case. We have had a drunk man, a man with a mike who can be heard even when he’s on mute (looks at Arnab) and a rap song (Now at KK). In all my 1 year as CJI, this is the weirdest yet somehow the best case I’ve ever seen. It has been very difficult to come to a decision but somehow, I have. The Supreme Court hereby finds the accused- Mr Mallaya…GUILTY and sentences him to triple life imprisonment on the grounds on money laundering, exploitation and violation of the right to constitutional remedy. It also orders that all his possessions to be sold to the highest bidder in a state held auction. The proceeds will go to reimburse the banks. The court also orders the Central Govt. to completely overhaul the entire banking system with strict safety & mitigation measures in place. The Govt. must also prevent criminals from being able to leave the country like Mr Mallaya did. Court is adjourned. (As the crowd rejoices, Arnab and KK try to make the extremely drunk Mallaya understand that he’s headed to jail and not to Park Hyatt for a six- pack)

Introducing the cast-

Arnab was played by the hilarious P.Vikraman who sent our class into peals of laughter with his amazing acting. The uptight Noor Ibsrahim was played by Diya Nandakumar, an athlete par excellence who turned out be quite the actor in the end. The comical Mallaya was initially played by Abhishek Barathan  who later dropped out at the last minute and sent us scrambling to find a replacement. That replacement came in the form of Sri Vishodhan , who despite being drafted at the last second, actually did an impressive job. The co-author of this play and the actor who played the no-nonsense ‘KK’ Singh was my extremely kooky and rap-song obsessed cousin, Smruthi Pradeep . Then there’s me, your awesome blogger who played, you guessed it, THE CJI OF INDIA with such skill, I was hailed as the next Gary Oldman(just kidding 😉 )

Hope you enjoyed this play and are excited for more. Until next time, fare thee well.


Disclaimer: I have full respect to Supreme Court of India and to all offices under our constitution. The above article is a piece of imagination. My intention was to have fun and not to hurt anyone’s reputation or sentiments. Hope everyone can read and laugh at this.


The Forbidden Temple-The Book Review

Hey guys, it’s me, your favourite blogger!!! And I’m back with a brand spanking new book review! Today’s post centres around the unconventional book that the Forbidden Temple is.
This book is a path breaker of various levels and is set in the tumultuous region of Bod, or as we know it today, Tibet!!! Despite the fact that it is an extremely sensitive region, whose ownership is a global dispute, author Patrick Woodhead has taken a leap of faith like no other before him. And it’s paid of !!!

The foundation of the book is based on a what if situation involving the disappearance of The 11th Panchen Lama, Gedhun Choekyi Nyima, the Chinese plot to prop a puppet Lama( Gyancain Norbu) & the inadvertent stumbling of our British protagonists, Luca Matthews & Bill Taylor into this chaotic mess. Simple mountaineers they may be, but their entry further complicates this tangled web.

Now, did this book survive my 3 pillars of a good read, the very mention of which send authors into frenzied panic? Sure as hell did!!! And here’s how.

1.Duration– Some people say that more pages mean a better reading experience. I disagree. Sure many of the greatest works in literature are massive, but that doesn’t mean that big is better. A long book, after a certain point in, gets tiresome. It becomes so long that the book seems to drag on forever! Small isn’t the best either, an extremely short book would leave the reader yearning for more detail, for more continuity, would leave them with 101 questions to be answered. There needs to be a balance.

The book sits inside the 350-375 bracket of pages, a great combination which strikes a near perfect balance between holding the reader’s attention and giving enough importance to an intriguing plot. Personally, I would have liked the book to have had a few more pages, around the 400 page mark as I felt that it would have allowed the author to express the plot in a more wholesome way, but that’s just a very minuscule preference of mine which should absolutely not deter you from buying this spectacular book.

2.Plot– What good is a book, without a great plot?

The fact that this plot is a spin-off based on a real event might make you think that the author would have struggled to surprise or intrigue the reader. That assumption has absolutely no ground in The Forbidden Temple! Patrick Woodhead has taken leaps of imagination, which appear clichéd at first, but scratch beneath the surface and you’ll discover a rabbit’s hole of several niche sub-plots which later climax in the most surprising way possible.

3.Artwork– The front & back cover & the images within a book are often what prompt people to buy them.

This book features a golden hue cover featuring a traditional Tibetan monastery with the breath-taking peaks of the Himalayas looming above it, thus creating a majestic cover page that will surely grab your attention.

At the end of the day, this is a book which doesn’t really fit into any particular genre. You want some info on Tibet & Tibetan Buddhism, this book has it. You want adventure coupled with fantastic storytelling, this has it. If you are an aspiring mountaineer and you want some basic tips, this book has it. You want a successor to the Da Vinci code, you got it!! All in all, this is a simply an unputdownable that keeps you riveted to the very end.

Hope you guys loved this review & are excited for the next one. Please do comment on how I can improve my reviews . Also do feel free to share books you feel I should review. Here’s the catch, they have to be written by regional authors. So for example, I live in India , so I would recommend a book like Amish Triparti’s Shiva trilogy. Hope to see your recommendations soon, Till next time, toodles!! 😉


Bittersweet memories

Hey guys, welcome to my first blog post of 2017, sorry 2018 (still haven’t quite gotten used to saying that ) . I hope all of you have a fantabulous & exciting new year!!!! But for me this new year hasn’t exactly gotten of to a smooth start. You see, it all began on Monday morning. I was busy demolishing the formidable stack of that day’s newspapers. Suddenly, when I was in the middle of a gripping article, a flyer caught my eye. I usually ignore them, presuming them to be filled with details that only my Grandma or mom would find interesting, but not this one, no, for this one contained words that struck an arrow through my heart, for it proclaimed the closure of Eloor Lending Library, one of Chennai’s most reputed libraries!!!

Maker:L,Date:2017-9-16,Ver:5,Lens:Kan03,Act:Kan02,E-veEloor Lending library- Exterior

This news was doubly heart wrenching for me as this was the library that had sparked & nurtured my passion for books. When I was young, the only source of  stories was my grandfather, who commanded such a vast storehouse of knowledge and tales which he used endlessly to regale me. But as I grew older, this was not enough to satisfy my voraciousness & I soon began to search for more avenues.

Up till that point, I was restricted to my native language of Tamil & couldn’t converse in other languages. My report cards soon began to back this up!! My dad soon took it upon himself to reverse this horrifying trend & initiated me into the world of English. However he didn’t exactly get what he’d bargained for. As I remember him recounting to my mother ” What monster have I unleashed?! “. I had completed his entire stack of books & was clamouring for more ( It didn’t exactly help that I was 7 yrs old, the very height of endless energy & naughtiness) . Soon ( after the destruction of precisely, 3 bathrooms, 500 pillows, 347 mattresses & the breakage of countless pieces of furniture) , my parents realised that the only way to curb my excessive energy was by providing me with an endless supply of books. This is where Eloor came in.

My dad had been one of the library’s first patrons & had assisted this library in expanding its store of computer related books( This was back in the 90’s , when he was still a student). So it was natural that he was to bring me here. And the rest as they say is history. I soon began to borrow over 20 books during my visits & became fast friends with the librarians. We endlessly talked about everything underneath the sun, from politics to why Jughead is awesome. This is where my unique style of reading( The 3 pillars) was forged.  My favourites during that time was Asterix & Obleix,  Tintin, Calvin & Hobbes, The Spy dog series, the Archie’s comics & several standalones of which the library contained rows of.

My favourite person in the library was ‘Oil’ Uncle( called so because his previous job was selling tins of ghee & desi oil), the security guard. A jovial man who was always delighted to see us. As the years progressed, I soon began to venture into more & more different genres & I was soon regarded by both my seniors & juniors as a Juggernaut in this language.  When I reached 7th standard, I had exhausted even this library’s extensive resources & soon began to turn my gaze towards the e-book craze. But that didn’t stop me from still continuing to borrow books from Eloor. I even assisted the librarians in updating their books, so as to improve patronage.

But it seems that my efforts were in vain. The librarian recounted that though this had helped bump up patronage, the business had been running on a loss for the last 2 years & the rent they paid was also quite expensive.

As soon as I read the flyer, I had rushed to father & urged him to drive me to the library at once. Once we reached, I rushed in to confirm the news. The head librarian replied in affirmative & said that they were also selling off all their books. I immediately ran in & collected all of my favourites, books that were not just pieces of paper but allies, my brothers in arms. I was however distraught to find that some of them had already been sold off. We bid farewell to all the librarians & exchanged numbers, so as to stay in touch. Even ‘Oil’ Uncle, who possessed an ever smiling face, also looked lost & saddened.

Patrons scrambling to buy their favourite novels

The next day, newspapers throughout Chennai began publishing articles, biding farewell to this great icon. I have cut these articles out of the paper & they, along with the 20 odd books I purchased, will serve as a reminder of the carefree days I spent there.  However, this is by no means the end of the road for Eloor, no. It’s spirit lives on in the hearts of every person who loves & cherishes books, who feel that they open doors into a new world.

Maker:L,Date:2017-9-16,Ver:5,Lens:Kan03,Act:Kan02,E-veThe author along with a few of his purchased books

I hope I have been able to give you guys a peek into my love for books & the sense of brotherhood I feel for this library. Until next time, farewell my friends!!!


What does this actually represent???

Hey, it’s me, the blogger back with a new post! Most of you of have seen this symbol right? It can be seen everywhere from public toilets to houses.

We know it as the wheelchair symbol, but its formal title as per the ISO( International Organization for Standardization) is the International Symbol of Access.

When I first heard about this, I was thoroughly confused. Everyone from my peers to even my Lawyer cousin were unclear as to what the symbol means. At a certain point, even I began to wonder, is this just some rumour spread through WhatsApp or a genuine fact? So I did some digging & what I found was really interesting.

One of the main reasons that people are perplexed about the meaning of this seemingly plain symbol may stem from how the symbol came about & why. In 1968, The International Commission of Technology & Accessibility held a design contest ( though I’m not sure how they would have had the time to say all that every time they gave an award) They were looking for something that would be recognizable no matter the distance( self descriptive), simple, practical & couldn’t be confused with existing symbols.

The winning design which for some weird reason didn’t have a head, was designed by Susanne Koefed, a Danish designer. With the addition of a head the following year made it more relatable & boy did succeed in doing that, because by the next ten years, it was endorsed by not just the ISO but by the United Nations themselves!!!

Without pizzazz or commotion, a global icon was born. But come the 2000s & even this simple sign needed an update. So the Graphic Artists’ Guild took it upon themselves & added more rounded, human-ish features. Then in 2012, The Accessible Icon Project came up with a more, shall we say, souped- up variant.

But this doesn’t really answer the question about this sign’s purpose. To put it simply, it is a sign which is used to indicate where there are accessible amenities like toilets or restaurants  . The strength of such Globally recognizable image is that no matter the tongue you speak , the country you are in, or the clothes you wear, if you require such facilities, the sign shows the way. So the next time you decide to visit a foreign country & are caught in ” I need a bathroom” situation but don’t understand the language? Don’t  worry, because the trusty wheelchair will show the way.

Ok, now you’re probably thinking ” If it’s that simple, then why is there so much confusion about this?” . That comes from the term accessibility & what it actually means.  Many people assume that since the symbol is about a wheelchair, the accessible facilities are only meant to be used by those who use wheelchairs or those who have a visible physical condition. But accessibility is a diverse concept that applies to plethora of conditions, ranging from people with autism to autoimmune diseases, like lupus.

In fact the World Health Organization estimates that they are approximately 1 billion people who suffer from some form of disability. So look to your left & look to your right because statistically you live in a world where even your best friend could differently abled. And people who use wheelchairs make up only 15% of the total amount. The vast majority suffer from non-visible disabilities. So these accessible amenities have to be designed keeping this whole group in mind.

In recent years, several people have begun to question whether the symbol is really appropriate for what it’s meant to do. This is not just about encompassing the masses but also because people tend to be abusive & intolerant towards people without visible disabilities. This symbol, which was meant to unite the human race has sadly been warped & instead used to further divide us.

There is however a ray of hope. The recent redesigns have attempted to address the concerns about the current symbol. There is a growing acceptance towards differently abled people & this new generation of movers & shakers is to be given much of the credit. In order to highlight this & signal the beginning of a new era, some advocate a complete re-design, but it’s a strenuous task, how do you replace something that is familiar through out the globe. And what will be it’s successor?

I hope this post has given you a better understanding of this universal symbol & its origins. Hope you enjoyed reading this post & are eagerly awaiting more. Until next time, May The Force be with You.



Hey guys it’s me, your favourite blogger!!! Today’s post is all about Youthquake, don’t worry it’s not some new natural calamity or another ” covefefe” incident.  No, Youthquake is the Oxford Dictionary’s Word of the Year !!! Now you’re probably wondering, ” Ok, but what does youthquake even mean?”. Well, the Oxford pocket dictionary defines the word Youthquake as:

A significant cultural, political, or social change arising from the actions or influence of young people.

And you have to admit, it does have a nice ring to it. But seriously this is an amazing word & what I love about it, is that it accurately describes the new era that has dawned upon mankind. I mean, I am now a new species, as a matter of fact, everyone in my generation is a new species, Homo Sapien Sapien or ” Futuristic Man”.  This doesn’t mean that we have an extra pair of arms & legs or a 3rd eye, no it just means that our bodies & brains are very slightly different from the generations before us. They are more focused, more adaptive & are better configured to move in synchrony with the new, more technology-oriented world.

You have to admit, though that the youth are becoming more & more involved in matters that have global or at the very least, national impacts. From the Jallikatu protests here in Tamil Nadu to the Catalonia movement in Spain, it appears that we the youth, want to be recognized. We want our voices to be heard, our opinions taken seriously. We are a generation filled with keen problem solvers, leaders & those who will not take “no” for an answer.

Some say that the youth aren’t ready, that they haven’t seen the outside world, they know not the complications & conundrums that this world poses. But that is what makes us so deadly, the very fact that we aren’t ready.

Let me propose a simple thought experiment. Imagine a busy, crowded road, outside a school & imagine a child, with a heavy schoolbag, tired after a long day of school who has to cross this chaotic mess & reach his Bus, which is about a block away & is set to leave within 10 minutes. Now as an adult, this situation will puzzle & frustrate the best of you. But a child, has only 1 objective, getting from Point A to Point B as soon as possible & he will do anything to get there. He will climb over cars, he’ll weave through the sea of motorcyclists, he’ll use by lanes that no one knew existed & he will get to his destination.

Same rule applies here , while adults have to struggle though the red tapes of bureaucracy, children can mobilise the masses, start quick response teams & fix buildings with just a snap of their fingers. However, there is one drawback. This natural instinct to belong , to change the world is often curtailed as its seen as immature & utopian. Now there is some merit to this, sometimes kids tend to go overboard for the wrong reasons or the wrong causes. This is where we need adults, to help reign us in when our good intentions are for the wrong causes. That is how Life was designed to be like, But now, over the years, the scales have shifted severely in favour of the adults.

But there is hope, several people are now awakening to the possibility of a balanced society, a society where the voices of youth aren’t muffled, but heard & accepted , a society where there is mutual growth & understanding between the youth & the adults, a society which truly embodies the ideals of “Pro pace et fraternitate gentium”  

Before I sign off, I happened to notice that the comment box in my blog has been awfully silent for some time, so maybe you can help me fix that? So hope you guys enjoyed this post & are eager for more!! Till next time, Farewell!

It’s Tikki Takka time!!!!!

All those who love a good football match, please raise your hands!!!!! A vast majority of you would say heck ya because this Beautiful Game is celebrated throughout this Universe ( Uni= One, Verse= Song, so essentially One Song). Well some of us are great at playing the game but aren’t so great when it comes to managing( I’m looking at you Maradona) while others aren’t great players but are the greatest managers ever. Well I belong to the latter half, I’m certainly not up there with the greats like Sir Alex & Jose Mourinho but I am a mean strategist & my FIFA 17 records prove it!

But some of you would say ” That’s just a game, it’s very different in real life”, Well I agree with you so for the past few months, I had been pestering my class football team to let me manage them for just one tournament. Finally about 2 weeks back they had caved in & had made me their manager for an under 18 tournament that they were going for.

I was Super excited, it was going to be my first time managing a real team. So I decided to get a few formations & tactics ready. My friends were highly sceptical of my abilities(by highly sceptical, I mean Comments dripping with enough sarcasm to fill the ocean)This seriously unnerved me( as it was meant to) & I gingerly sent some pics of my formations in our WhatsApp group, seriously expecting them to treat it like a joke.

A 4-4-2 Football Formation

But to my surprise, The first comment wasn’t a GIF of laughter but was one praising those formations. This nearly caused me to faint! Several such comments were to follow & suffice to say that I was acting like someone had fed me Coffee & Red Bull at the same time, such was my level of joy.

The next day was D- Day so as to speak & when we gathered at the indoor stadium, we were given quite the rude shock, Every single one of the opponents was built like a bull & had beards that would give Santa Claus a run for his money! I went nuts! I ran around screaming” We’re all going to die!!!” about 50 times until my friends managed to calm me down. Taking a deep breath, I decided that the best course of action was to use our tactics & strategies to counteract their superior strength & pace. While my team was warming up, I was busy observing our opponents, learning their weaknesses & strengths & trying to see which formation would increase our chances of winning the most.

Finally with all my research was done, I briefed my team about what to do & made sure that each one of them understood their roles perfectly. But that wasn’t a difficult job because these guys were some of the best players in our entire school & had some fantastic footballing brains up in their craniums, so this was super easy for them to understand.

So prep done, we headed out to battle. We played 2 matches, lost one & won the other, but we didn’t to qualify as the team that had beat us had won both their matches, including ours, thus automatically qualifying for the semi-finals & nothing could have been done about it. Deflated we returned to the dugout where the two teams that played against us congratulated us! We were confused as to why they would do so when one of them explained that they were 2nd-year college students & they had never gone up against 14 yr olds who put up such a fight or had such efficient strategies. We were stunned for a few seconds but then we burst into celebration, due to the fact that we had beaten a group of 2nd-year college students( Ironically the scoreline in that match was 2-0) & had impressed another group of them.

Compliments flew around, each one crediting someone else for the win, my name included! But the kicker for me was that they declared that I would be their manager in every tournament from now on. Once more I fainted but not on cement flooring, instead of like an act of fate, on the green turf right in front of Sir Alex’s Painting.



How I taught my Grandmother YouTube

Hello world, it’s time for my 1st set of weekly posts! And this one is a kicker! The reason for this title is my own grandmother & my desire to create a more modern-day version of  Sudha Murthy’s award-winning book” How I taught my Grandmother To Read”, a delightful book whose rainbow colours were obscured by the monochromatic fact that we had to mug it up, just to get a measly letter on our report cards (Curse you Education System). Aside from the fact that my post which will tear up this decrepit system is on track to get published very soon, the inspiration for this particular post began about 2 days ago.

My Navaratri holidays had begun & I was in paradise, beating my friends in online FIFA 17 matchups, wanting to watch Kingsmen: The Golden Circle, Praying to God that both Lukaku & Dhoni should get an Oscar when I caught sight of my usually chatty & lively grandmother, looking sullen & crestfallen. So I walked up to her & so began the ensuing dialogue:

Me: Patti (Tamil for grandmother), what’s wrong?

Patti: Nothing Vaageesh, I just feel so bored these days (Ok a bit anti-climatic but hey it’s the truth), there is no excitement in my life anymore.

So I thought to myself, how do I bring excitement into the life of someone who had seen more than seventy years of this world, when it hit me, she hadn’t seen the one thing that had turned Homo Sapien (wise human) into Homo Sapien Sapien (futuristic human), The internet! So I bolted upstairs, grabbed my laptop, a chair & prepared to send my grandmother into the world wide web.

This was easier said than done, it was an exhilarating & curious experience trying to explain to her this world which was like second nature to me but a conundrum to her. I enjoyed explaining simple concepts like Google to her & I saw that this was opening new doors for her.

The next step was, of course, the most popular destination in this Universe, YouTube. I was floored by my grandmother’s excitement about a place where she could binge watch just about anything from the weather to Trump’s toupee (I think this was due to the fact that I had used south Indian soap-operas as an example). She made remarkable progress, subscribing to half of South Indian TV’s YouTube channels, getting brand new material to discuss with her friends & generally getting a brand new lease of excitement. She is quite the multi-tasker, watching Big Boss, chatting with my aunts, skyping her relatives all at the same time.  I am astonished that her love of learning hasn’t diminished after so many years, it truly does inspire you to want to be the same when you reach that golden age.

I am planning to introduce her to WhatsApp very soon, but I am currently busy trying to explain to her why a mouse is called a mouse, so I have to go, till next time my people, till next time.